| 10; |
[May 15th, 6:06pm] |
( Private to Roderick, cut for rambling )
~PRIVATE TO SELF
I know what I want to do now, but I do not know how to do it without his help. I wish I did not have to ask him. I could just ask my brothers, but he would find out one way or another.
I do so hate asking for permission. If I could just do what I wanted, I would be so happy. Of course, it is not a reflection on him. I have never liked being told what to do. I think it simply irritates me since I did not expect to be so answerable to someone once I was away from my father.
Blast it.
~PRIVATE TO SILAS
I have a request.
~END WARD
Today would be such a fine day for horse riding. Pity the activity has been spoiled for me.
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| 9; |
[May 9th, 10:23pm] |
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I want my wand back and in one piece, Dorcas.
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| 8; |
[Apr 15th, 12:14am] |
~PRIVATE
I have been married for four days, and I tire of it already. How utterly depressing. This is precisely the reason why newly weds ought to go on honeymoon. I must confess, journal, that I am so very bored. In grandmother's house, there was at least an entire library of books at my disposal. The books here are dull and manly. I could devote time to redecorating this drab house, but after spending an entire year planning the wedding, I cannot jump straight into another project that involves fabrics and colour palettes and tedious, talentless haberdashers! Worst of all, I cannot admit to this boredom. To be anything but a blissfully happy bride in such an early stage of marriage is utterly unthinkable.
Perhaps I expected too much.
Is it bad to want to have a baby out of an utter lack of anything else to do? Blast it, I shall have to find some sort of charity to occupy my time. But still, not yet! Proper rituals need to be observed, and right now I ought to be a loved-up wife.
I do not love my husband. I thought I would by now.
~END WARD
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| 7; |
[Apr 12th, 10:30am] |
~PRIVATE
OH MY GOD, JOURNAL! That was - I mean goodness. I have been dying to do that ever since Grandmother gave me my first book on the topic. I do hope I will not fall pregnant too soon, the last thing I need is the idle gossip of cruel Society ladies. I will not have them say that any child of mine is a Bastard.
~END WARD
While I am in the process of writing thank-you cards, I wished to express my gratitude once more to all of the guests at our wedding yesterday. It was simply wonderful having all of you there to witness our happy day. I do hope that everyone had a splendid time.
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| 6; |
[Apr 10th, 6:51pm] |
~PRIVATE
Oh journal! This time tomorrow, I will be Silas's wife and I will not have to answer to my father any longer. I scarcely believe my luck. I am marrying a handsome, well bred man and even though we will not be taking a honeymoon, I find that I am not as upset about that as I thought I would be. It is not as important as simply no longer being a Harper. I will not miss it.
Esme Selwyn has quite a nice ring to it.
~END WARD
It looks like my wish has been granted! See how the weather has turned around? It is promised to stay fine for the week. I do hope that everyone invited has a splendid time tomorrow. Gate crashers will not be tolerated
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| 5; |
[Apr 5th, 6:57pm] |
I am home from Paris at last! Grandmother certainly spoils me. I do hope this awful weather clears up before Sunday.
~SILAS
I have something for you!
~END WARD
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| 4; |
[Mar 29th, 12:28am] |
~PRIVATE
I HATE HIM. I LOATHE HIM! My own father! How can he be such a demanding, condescending oaf of a man? How dare he dictate to me a mere fortnight before my wedding that I should perform musically for our guests? IT IS MY WEDDING! I should not be entertaining! People should be entertaining me! What a mockery he is making of me. I cannot wait until I am married and I no longer have to do what he says.
~END WARD
My father has decided that I am to play the piano at my own wedding. I must say, I am quite nervous. It is already quite a lot of work, and I have become rusty. Worse still, he expects me to sing! At least it is just for one song. I dare not tell him I do not wish to play.
This time two weeks I will be married and will not have to answer to my pigheaded father and my worries will be cast aside.
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